An Idiot Abroad

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Ok, so I coined the title from Karl Pilkington, but I don’t think there has ever been another man it applies to more than EB.

He has finally left our shores for three weeks of reveling and sight seeing in historic China. He will be there for the Chineses New Year, I am more than a little envious.

But in true EB fashion, he did not leave without a final drama……. his last afternoon at work, he asked to leave early as his flight was early on the Saturday, (we live a 5 hour drive away  from Heathrow) no problem. As this could potentially be his last day of working here, (we are starting a business together and we don’t know how the boss feels yet, because he has yet to speak to us about it???) he gathered up his personal belongings from his desk, usual stuff, mug, a catalogue for prosperity, a few of his business cards, and most importantly, his wage cheque.
He was carrying a large sack of mail, and to mke his life a bit better, I put all his belongings in an a big padded envelope to ease tranportation.

Off  he goes, big goodbyes in his funny old Rover car.

Ten minutes later…the phonecall came…..

‘Hi, issue’.
He had put all the packet post into the franking machine box (its a square contraption where you pull down a big handle and put in packets, you can put stuff in, but can’t get it out) along with his envelope containing personal belongings, and……his wages cheque….. DOH!!

Several plans were laid, ringing the sorting office, hunting down postmen, etc etc, but only one would actually work, camping by the Post Box awaiting the collecting postie.

Well, of course it was me that had to do it, I waited in -2 temperatures in the car, for an hour before finally the little red van pulled up!
I jogged over to him playing the dozy female, ‘ don’t worry love’ came his relpy, ‘I know what you girls are like, I had a woman post her handbag once’……oh how funny, I bet actually her male companion posted her handbag, and she had to pretend it was her just to get it back again!!!

But reader, I never expected EB’s departure to be a smooth one. He is now safely in China, I have yet to here about any of his expolits.
I think the blog will be a retrospective view for a few weeks, or just the ramblings of an abondoned collegue.

So no takers on EB yet….. no lovely ladies have come forward to claim their , erm, prince. This is indeed a dispointment.

Until the next time, thanks for reading

A

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Three days before China….

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EB goes to China on Saturday for three weeks of holiday fun.
He is leaving work on the eve of big happenings.
You see reader EB & I have decided during a recession, that it is a good time to go out on a limb with a
fresh pair of business legs, leave our comfortable old slipper style jobs, and slip on a pair of shiny stilettos.
We have quite accidentally become two-thirds of a partnership to run a new shop and build a new website.
These will be exciting times for certain.

However EBs’ notice period will be served on Holiday, mine will be served here, battling the wits of what ever new person
our ever absent boss decides to throw into the mix. Its reminds me of the scene in Lord of the Rings, when Gandalph is standing in
the courtyard at Minas Tirith with the army behind him, waiting for the wooden doors to crash in he says ‘ You are soldiers of Gondor!
No matter what comes through that gate, you will stand your ground’. Well, I feel like a soldier of Gondor, awaiting the arrival of a Cave troll wielding a battering ram. Alas though we are not in middle earth we are in Cornwall.

I digress, as you can tell the sense of abandonment is great, but I must tell of EB’s camera exploits….

EB has of late been getting into photography, however he does not want to take his digital SLR to China.
So yesterday he embarked on a mission to Tesco to purchase a point and shoot.
After much thought and perusal, he opted for a Fuji 14 MP model, he excitedly gathered up his purchase drives the 8 miles home, tears open the box……its pink.

Fantastic! EB however finds this amusing!! in fact he loves its comedy value!!! I think he is  the only man I know who would be comfortable carrying around a pink camera.

Nothing ever goes smoothly for him.

Thats all for today!

A

Persuading EB to get fit

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Today I will mostly be trying to persuade EB that he needs to join the Gym.

He hates the Gym, he has horrid little names for it and scrunches up his face in utter horror at the thought of it.
He moans he has man boobs, but obviously secretly he likes them!

We both get free Gym membership with one of our jobs, so I am completely baffled by his unwillingness.
The excuses have come thick and fast this morning reader, ‘I’m washing my hair tonight’,  ‘I don’t wish to be sweaty and generally put in any effort’.

What I need is a Gym Fairy to help me!! Anyone out there have any ideas???

In training for the Gym

Friend For Sale: well sort of.

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Welcome to my blog, its an odd one really, but this is WordPress home of every unusual idea under the sun it seems!

I have a friend, who for the purpose of this experiment, we shall call EB (Eligible Bachelor), because although he knows about this blog, he does not want his name on it just yet…….

EB, of late has been having some issues with women. He is a funny, clever and mildly attractive young man (23) who has picked some duff birds in his time. The first one, we shall call UHU turned out to be nuts, and went all stalker on him, the second, the hippy, she called him too clingy for texting her one afternoon a month into their friendship, and the last one, Roller girl , just thought he was not clingy enough….

Poor old EB, he can’t win, however, I thought I would start a blog to showcase my lovely friend, to help find him a lovely girl.

Who knows maybe this will never be read by anyone, or maybe just that one person may read it and decide he is definately her cup of tea!!

I work with EB, everyday, and some evenings aswell in a second job, and it has to be said, everyday he does something entertaining or ridiculous, and that is what this blog is going to chart, his basic everyday quotes and antics!

His hair alone could fill a blog!

Well I hope if you have stumbled upon this, and you are a nice girl looking for a nice boy, or you know of said girl, please subscribe to my blog and let EB know that there are women out there that appreciate, educated well mannered boys still!!

Thanks for reading!

A

Britains Most Eligible Bachelor